1. |
Lipgloss
03:58
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My love for you knows no bounds
Searched high and low, it can’t be found
Endorphins spike when you’re around
Hormones surge, your lips on my frown
Turn that frown upside down, turn my life back around
I yearn for life
Wish you’d hold me tight, I'm lost, can't be found
Like a lighthouse back to shore, safe and sound
Let me be your band-aid, protecting your wounds
Peel me apart, I’m stuck like glue
Dior glasses hide my tears, hide my fears
If I had to go without you my whole life to the end
That’s my biggest fear
No assuming the drugs I’m abusing, my heart never needed choosing
Give it my all, always losing, pass the ball
Giving up on life off two flats at the mall
Stars shine bright, you bring me hope
Time with you loosened the rope
No more abusing drugs to cope
But I’ll be using them when we elope
Float on clouds like in dreams
In the city with you, found my self esteem
Tell me our future’s gonna be what it seems
Tell me something please, I am begging on my knees
Gauze on my soul, unravel me whole
Is this love that I’m feeling? Is this love that I’m feeling?
I think I've lost control
My love for you knows no bounds
Searched high and low, it can’t be found
Endorphins spike when you’re around
Hormones surge, your lips on my frown
Turn that frown upside down, turn my life back around
I yearn for life
Wish you’d hold me tight, I'm lost, can't be found
Like a lighthouse back to shore, safe and sound
Let me be your band-aid, protecting your wounds
Peel me apart, I’m stuck like glue
Dior glasses hide my tears, hide my fears
If I had to go without you my whole life to the end
That’s my biggest fear
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2. |
Pale Skin
03:01
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Fake it til I make it, take my soul and wake it
Fake it for so long, I cop it and I break it
Drugs to numb inside so I can stop the aching
Track marks line my arms from all the drugs I’m taking
All these scars & burn marks, could’ve guessed it
Forever a mistake, God took my soul & blessed it
Life forever spent in pain, I make the best of it
I spend the rest of it
Balmain & Fendi, all pain & fenty
I got what you need if you’re friendly
Pale skin burnt well done, I hate the sun
I don’t want your love, I need your blood
Now I can’t escape from this hole that I’ve dug
Weight of the world holds me down with the slugs
My failures haunt me, drown me in the flood
Frail and numb, dirty my skin like the mud
Rolling off a perccy, I won’t make it to thirty
Numb myself to all the hurting
Bumps in my nose, Alice in a wonderland of blow
Lots of blue snow
I’m crushing my meds, time slows
Cup of lean slows my head, my life hit new lows
When’s my time to go? When’s my time to go?
Wish I couldn’t tell you but I know that it shows
No one knows better than me when it’s my time to go
When I decide to up and go, please dress me in my nicest clothes
Pale skin burnt well done, I hate the sun
I don’t want your love, I need your blood
Now I can’t escape from this hole that I’ve dug
Weight of the world holds me down with the slugs
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3. |
Junkie's Promise
03:24
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Crawling outside of myself towards an ever retreating light
Falling inside of myself, I am no bark and all bite
It gets so dark outside when there's no end in sight
Every time I'm denied, numb myself to feel alive
Yeah, I'm living thru the trauma
But do I look like I survived?
Falling in love with you, down I go like a rabbit hole
Calling out for you in vain
Drown myself under the rain
I live in a drain
Filth and sewage are what I shoot into my veins
(put in my brains)
Lost my soul, have no goals
All I ever wanted was to be whole
Half a year later, I'm completely alone
Trapped in a prison I built on my own
I thrash and scream every day
All I want is to be free
Yet deep down, I know I must atone
For my self-destructive tendencies
So please, forgive me
I'm not a bad person
I'm just a junkie
Crawling outside of myself towards an ever retreating light
Falling inside of myself, I am no bark and all bite
It gets so dark outside when there's no end in sight
Every time I'm denied, numb myself to feel alive
Yeah, I'm living thru the trauma
But do I look like I survived?
Awake in a sweat, my life is a mess
Afraid to get wet, afraid to confess
Crawling outside of myself towards an ever retreating light
Losing myself in thoughts of you, I'll drown tonight
My love for you will burn until the end of times
I don't want to be revived
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4. |
OMG!
01:50
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I fuck reality in half; dope I'm shooting
I go crazy, I go stupid, I'm lazy, I stay booted
Drop your money if you look for something
Come around the corner in 10, you'll be left with nothing
Like the shepherd leads the herd in vain
Your salvation left her cold and in pain
No saving from the trauma I hold and blame
I'm looking insane, I lose the game
Bury me in filth and grime
6 feet deep beneath the slime
Contemplated suicide
Toss my life aside
Rip my flesh apart at the sutures
Dress my guts at the wake in couture
Hanging from a cross in hopes of our future
Your sins stained me, branded me a loser
Kiss me and strangle my breath away
I was just a warm body for you to decay
Like the shepherd leads the herd in vain
Your salvation left her cold and in pain
No saving from the trauma I hold and blame
I'm looking insane, I lose the game
You wanna talk dates? My lack of strength?
How I break your heart that day on April 28th?
Let's talk December 10th and how you had a fit
Held my life in your hands and made sure I'd never forget
Your sins stained my red dress
I still feel your cold breath
I still pray for rest, I still long for death
Do me a favor, come and take my breath
Rip my flesh apart at the sutures
Dress my guts at the wake in couture
Hanging from a cross in hopes of our future
Your sins stained me, branded me a loser
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5. |
Femcel Anthem
03:44
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So lonely, so lonely; won’t you hold me?
I’m hurting, I’ve been sinning
Between you and the drugs I don’t know who’s winning
I’m sorry, I’m sorry
I know I have lots of problems, I’m so sorry
But I’m broken, I can’t make it
What’s the point in smiling for you when I fake it?
Wouldn’t wish my vices on you, bitch
Couldn’t fix my life if I tried, you bitch
Shouldn’t you keep your mouth shut lil bitch?
I love the way they switch when they see me smokin’ rocks with they bitch
I like my drip saggy, valium got me walkin so laggy
You can have a head start, you won’t ever catch me
I’m a addict, yeah, I don’t want it, I need more
At the store, I’m always wanting more
So lonely, so lonely; won’t you hold me?
I’m hurting, I’ve been sinning
Between you and the drugs I don’t know who’s winning
I’m sorry, I’m sorry
I know I have lots of problems, I’m so sorry
But I’m broken, I can’t make it
What’s the point in smiling for you when I fake it?
I take 50 Benadryl, link up with ghosts and ghouls
You ever seen a white girl run a drill? I walk around with the tool
Everybody leaves when the going gets rough
When the going gets rough, Marlboro’s stay puffed
The way I’m coming and going, my life ought to be snuffed
Yeah I’m fuckin’ tough, but life’s not enough
Put that shit in your face, you get sprayed with mace
Fuck your shit up when I swing my mace, I’m medieval
You lose your face, you are mid and I am evil
Stunt so damn hard I look like Knievel
Why extol her when you just want to use?
Can’t you see I’ve been through enough fucking abuse?
I am the last flower in the bouquet
Anyone can play, anyone who can pay
Call on you for relief
It’s too late, I’m spun out in a coral reef
Abandonment runs deep
What do you dream about when you sleep?
So lonely, so lonely; won’t you hold me?
I’m hurting, I’ve been sinning
Between you and the drugs I don’t know who’s winning
I’m sorry, I’m sorry
I know I have lots of problems, I’m so sorry
But I’m broken, I can’t make it
What’s the point in smiling for you when I fake it?
So lonely, so lonely; won’t you hold me?
I’m hurting, I’ve been sinning
Between you and the drugs I don’t know who’s winning
I’m sorry, I’m sorry
I know I have lots of problems, I’m so sorry
But I’m broken, I can’t make it
What’s the point in smiling for you when I fake it?
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6. |
K9
02:25
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Dog on a leash, take me walking
Scared to go outside, they might stalk me
Been asleep for years, I’m sleepwalking
Would you care if I died? I’m despondent
Unfurl my wings, I’m just stalling
Stammer my words, feel I’m falling
Search my face for my feelings
I’ve been calling out for you
Heaven sent but I’m hell bent on dying
I’m not trying, no more denying
K9 lose my scent, I’m left hiding
I go out in the night, you won’t find me
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7. |
Starry Night
02:06
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Am I going to die like this? Alone and hopeless
Leave out all the rest, I cannot atone, I am soulless
Call on him for relief, in your veins he'll never leave
Abandonment issues run deep, you were so naive
I wanna reach for the stars, I wanna go really far
Off a couple of bars, I grieve for my broken heart
I'm still stuck here waiting in your drawer
Am I going to die like this? Alone and hopeless
Leave out all the rest, I cannot atone, I am soulless
Call on him for relief, in your veins he'll never leave
Abandonment issues run deep, you were so naive
I wanna reach for the stars, I wanna go really far
Off a couple of bars, I grieve for my broken heart
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8. |
Flétrissement
02:30
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You know just what to do
I love the way you soothe
Comfort in the way you move
Hold me 'til the night is through
I'm alone and confused
I'm scared to leave my room
Sick of getting beaten, bruised
Total recluse
Cold winds of abuse
You know just what to do
I love the way you soothe
Comfort in the way you move
Hold me 'til the night is through
I'm alone and confused
I'm scared to leave my room
Sick of getting beaten, bruised
Cold winds of abuse
Weeping in my cave all alone, I'm seething
Back to the drugs, walking and sleeping
Tar on my fingers got em lookin like some stingers
I gotta cope with some opium
Use some bleach when you wipe my brains from the linoleum
After my patience wears thin, I lay it to rest
23 years of holding it inside of my chest
You know just what to do
I love the way you soothe
Comfort in the way you move
Hold me 'til the night is through
I'm alone and confused
I'm scared to leave my room
Sick of getting beaten, bruised
Cold winds of abuse
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9. |
Sappy (ft. FRUITBAT)
04:46
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I've been trapped in my bed, I've been trapped in my head
I'm going crazy, seeing red
Sapped of my soul on my death bed, I'm barely hanging by a thread
What difference does it make? Every day, I ache, strapped down for torture
Let's see how long until I break
If I could show you everything, you would too
If I could remember anything, but I don't have a clue
If you forgave me, I would too
If you forsake me, I'll come unglued
I know I have lots of issues baby, I don't pretend
Gone through so many tissues trying hard to mend
My broken heart pines for you, it just won't stop
Give me one chance, I play it all in my thoughts
I need to see us together, god damn the cost
Without you holding my hand, I'm lost
I'm Alice in chains, I'm Jesus on the cross
Take me down from here, I can't handle the loss
I can't handle the loss (I'm lost in the sauce)
I can't handle the loss, I can't handle the loss
The damage done, look at the cost
Is that too much? Do I come across insane?
I'm scared I do, that's why I stay in my lane
But my heart won't stop screaming out your name
Since we met, my heart's abstained
From asking the queen that reigns to unshackle my chains
And everywhere I go's inside my room
I beg to break the might of you
Holding me by my shoulders
Now I'm growing colder
And still I never showed her
That I laughed how I used to
That I prayed like I used to
I held on like I used to
And yesterday I even tried to
It was wrong, the way I still hunt fawns
But you made me try it
But you made me try it
And I tried to fight it
And I tried to fight it
And I tried to fight it
But you made me try it
But you made me try it
But you made me try it
Without you holding my hand, I'm lost
I'm Alice in Chains, I'm Jesus on the cross
Take me down from here, I can't handle the loss
I can't handle the loss (I'm lost in the sauce)
I can't handle the loss, I can't handle the loss
The damage done, look at the cost
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10. |
Overdose
02:05
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Plastic fake feelings I can't shake
Please have mercy on my brain
My heart's broke too, it mends with glue
Sucker punch to my guts, black rain heals my cuts
Angel in the night, come out from the light
Meet me in the darkness, devil rabbit goes the hardest
Hide myself from public view
Overdose, my lips turn blue
Narcan in my nose, thought life was through
Til I saw the real you, one of the chosen few
I know you hate me, I love you too
Labored respiration through a pipe
Razor blades on my wrist, visa swipe
Do not resuscitate me cold and blue
When I up and go, I don't want to be revived
Scars persist like birthmarks that communicate that this pain is my birthright
My disfigurements were given to myself out of spite
A lighter held to my arms in times of respite
Tired of holding back, forwards I'm inching
Pinched nerves, my trigger finger's itching
When I'm manic, no regard for a thing
Myself my favorite target for inflicting pain
I got teeth like a bulimic
If you could feel this pain, you would not believe it
Just leave it, my dreams are candy and rabbits
Then I wake up to this hell I inhabit
I got way too many habits
Anything you want, you can have it
I try, I fail, I never win
What a waste of life I've been
Throw me in the waste bin
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11. |
Purge
01:58
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And I was wrong to think I'd wither away, as if romantically
As if romanticism could have ever saved me from my self destructive ways clouding my mind so frantically
I was bearing the weight of my trauma on your spine
Like the shelf I'd been placed on time after time
Broken mess of memories stuck up in my mind
Let the vultures eat away, I'll be fine
Bloodwork speaks to it, a miracle that I'm alive
When you loathe who you are inside, every second is a fight to survive
Purge your last supper outside the mall
Step inside and try it all
Damn I look good, I might just buy it all
Damn I'm broke again, blame my mania and pray away the sin
I'm looking good, I'm losing weight, my insides are held together loosely with tape
They're creaky and old and ready to bust
My guts will spill from my pores out with all the pus
My pride has eroded like dirt, lost all self worth
Cast me like 13 feet below down in the Earth
My body will rot but the pain is everlasting, leeching into the water supply
Haunting the world til the grave I'll stay blasting
Decomposition's a lot like water fasting
I'm used to decay, I'm comfortable in plaster
So I won't fuss when the dirt starts to rain
I'll be breathing a sigh of relief
Relief from this pain
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12. |
Vampire Soliloquy
03:20
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Go to sleep in an iron maiden
Wake up in this hell that I was made in
Scrounge for substances I'm craving, my skull is caving
Line with red velvet the casket that I'm laid in
All my feelings are so fleeting
Vapid, they change so rapid
Yet my anguish remains so rabid
Akisthesia has me in circles like a rabbit
Benzodiazepines leave me feeling useless, so stupid
If I feel so dead, why don't I just do it?
Wish I knew why
Why I feel so alone on the inside
My skin sparkles in the sunlight
Teeth and body rot away to decay
Broken wings that have denied me flight
For years I've been trapped in the night
Don't know what's wrong but I know it's not right
There's something wrong with my brain, best get the fuck out the way
Yung trauma is letting it spray, aim for the mirror hoping I die today
Why do I have to try and make a face?
A mask just to cover my shame?
A casket left without a name?
Don't want no drama, permanently stuck in my trauma
For impact I'm braced
Yet still I ask, still I ask, who do I have to blame?
This feels just like a fucked up game
I'm putrid and rotten and lame
If I told myself the truth, myself I'd have to erase
As if I can’t believe the hollow shell that I became
Deadbeat bitch, what a waste
Junkie bitch amped up on base
Total fucking disgrace, gone without a trace
Taking up way too much space
Always taking up too much space
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BRRBUNNY Las Vegas, Nevada
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